20 January 2011

I feel better but still pretty terrible. My semispinalis whether of cervical or capitis varieties aches. My throat feels as though a hole has been jabbed into it. My left ear drum may have ruptured. I'm out of breath and my eyes burn dry. Rhabdomyolysis, I really hope not. Can lead to acute renal failure. I don't think so. But I have been pressing myself too hard. Three hours of daily exercise with both running and lifting, and I was sick last week. I'm not sure what would have happened yesterday if i hadn't made myself eat. And I came within a few semi-conscious seconds of not being able to do so. If I could barely think my body was precipitously more immobile. But that wasn't my biggest fear. I've become used to being alone, but laying there and knowing that there was no one to help frightened me more than thinking about what would have happened if I hadn't gotten up.